All the online dating work has been done – a well written profile, nice photos, first contact, interesting e-mails back and forth, and a successful move to the telephone. After several phone calls, both still seem funny, smart, sexy so it’s now time to plan the first meeting.
There is some disagreement among relationship coaches and counselors about the first meeting. While many people meet for coffee or a drink to see if there is any chemistry in person before scheduling a more formal first date, many counselors see the coffee date as more like an interview to see if the person is worthy of a more elaborate date. The counselors seem to feel this is a worrisome attitude for people to have because it could mean that they’re not really looking for love. There are single people on online dating sites who see this coffee date meeting as the perfect way to feel for the person before going on more of an elaborate and expensive date. The coffee date takes the pressure off, keeps things casual and allows the couple to talk face-to-face for a little while to see if they want to pursue anything more than that. Since it’s more of a meeting than a date, the expectations are managed more efficiently and wisely, which also can take a lot of pressure off.
The very first date can be just that – a meeting. This meeting is simply a way to estimate the level of chemistry and interest between the two parties in real life. Guys should always make it clear to the lady that he has no expectation of sex in order to put her at ease. If a coffee date is the choice, leave the laptop at home. Also, turn the ringer off on the mobile phone, and don’t check the smart phone constantly just because there is free wireless in the coffee house. Put the phone away and focus on getting to know each other.