First thing you should know about me: I love women. I love internet dating because it brings me into contact with so many eligible ladies. I had been online dating for about a month, when I started e-chatting a woman who went by the name “Rainbow”.
Rainbow was a young woman of 25 years old, but thought of herself as a new age hippy. She loved yoga, was a vegan, hit the Om festival, the whole nine yards. Normally this kind of woman isn’t really my cup of tea, but since she told me she shaved her armpits and regularly bathed, I gave it a chance.
We hit it off immediately. She is a really smart and funny girl. We decided to get together and watch the recent lunar eclipse on winter solstice. I like smoking grass, and occasionally doing shroomz, so when I told her my idea to watch the eclipse, she said she wanted to drop some LSD.
I did acid back in high school, but only once. It wasn’t a bad trip or anything, it just lasted too long. You can only listen to Dark Side of the Moon so many times. But since I didn’t want to poop the party, I told Rainbow I’d do it with her. She also said that if I was as cool as I seemed in person, she’d probably end up spending the night at my place. Jackpot.
Since I figured the LSD would probably affect my erection abilities, I got a Viagra from a buddy of mine and popped it just before Rainbow and I met up. Unfortunately the Viagra kicked in waaay too early in the evening, and I was stuck with a rock-hard stiffy before the eclipse had even started. To make matters worse, the acid was particularly powerful and I started tripping balls.
Suffice to say, Rainbow was not impressed with the babbling idiot with the GIANT tentpole in his trousers at nine in the evening. She politely excused herself, and took a cab home. This left me on the beach, talking to aliens for four hours while passers-by wondered what was wrong with boner-man.
The moral of the story: Stick to drugs you know and wait until you’re starting foreplay to take Viagra. Hope you benefit from my wisdom!